What Could Have Been—And Why I’m Glad for What Is
by Nanci Bradley
Watching TV shows and reading books can open up windows into other worlds and other ways of living. Sometimes, it offers an interesting new perspective, with different thoughts and emotions to contemplate as a result. But other times it creates a yearning, for the paths I never took and the things I missed out on.
Recently, I have been watching a TV series following a group of university students, and as I often do when I consume media about student life, I begin to yearn for the close bonds and fun times that are depicted. My own time studying was partially online and at a small university with fewer opportunities to connect with people.
It leads me into thoughts of the person I would be and the way my life would look, if I had studied at a different university or in a different time. Would I have more friends or less? What would my career look like? Where would I be?
But that contemplative path always leads me back, to the joy and satisfaction I feel about my life right now, in this moment, and the places it could lead me in the future.
Guided by the Universe
When I begin to look back at my own life, I begin to notice how every small piece was placed exactly right, to help me end up where I am right now.
And where I am right now, is in many ways the person I dreamed of being when I was young. Not necessarily in the concrete details like work and social life, but in the way I exist in the world, how I act and how I feel throughout my days.
One example of the universe guiding my steps was when I decided to take a gap year after high school, based on an opportunity I found to be a teaching assistant in the UK for a year. This sounded perfect – I would get the chance to do something, while getting the opportunity to travel, and would have support and structure from the organisation in charge.
However, I didn’t get accepted for a position. But at this point, my mind was set on taking a gap year. And so I organised my own gap year, with a mixture of traveling around Europe, staying with family and volunteering.
And I’m lucky I did, because the covid lockdowns began in the UK only 6 weeks after I arrived. If I had taken the path I initially planned, I would have been sent home. Instead, although all my careful plans for the year were cancelled, the new plans I created along the way suited me perfectly.
I gained the opportunity to spend 6 months getting to know my grandmother, who I had only met a few times prior to this. I gained the opportunity to travel solo, and discover how much I enjoyed it. I gained the opportunity to be more independent than I ever had before, and learned how I was capable of more than I had ever dreamed I could be.
I flowed with the universe’s plan, rather than stubbornly sticking to my own, and ended up exactly where I needed to be.
Finding Balance
Now, we are in the age of manifestation. Everyone in the spiritual community, and even outside of it, seems to be talking about it.
So how do we find the balance between being guided by the universe and manifesting our life?
The key, in my opinion, is to use manifestation to set your goal, and then allow the universe to guide your path in reaching that goal.
Often, when we manifest, we can get fixated on a particular aspect of the goal, or on how we want it to arrive into our life. For example, ‘I will win in excess of $100 000 in the lottery’
However, I prefer to focus on the end result – the way that thing will change my lifestyle, emotions and actions. Contemplating how I would live my life, in what areas would I feel differently to the way I do now. What is it actually bringing me?
For me, $100 000 would offer me independence and the opportunity to start a life of my own. But perhaps for you, it is financial freedom, the ability to travel more, or the opportunity to change your career.
That is what I focus on manifesting. The true end result.
And then, I simply allow the universe to bring me the opportunities I need to get closer and closer to that goal.
Perhaps, I will start to see more content online about ways to build up wealth while you are young, supporting me in the physical aspect of the goal. Perhaps I start to notice how triggered I get when I see people frivolously using their money, giving me the opportunity to work on the emotions that are blocking me from reaching the goal (check out our Emotion Frequency Oracle deck for a tool to support you in reflecting on your stuck emotions).
Manifesting grants us opportunities to step into that new lifestyle. It is our job to listen to the guidance of the universe and of our own inner knowing, to choose the right opportunities for us, and begin the journey into that new version of ourselves.
In Summary
Even as we may reflect upon the paths we didn’t take, we gain an opportunity to bring in more gratitude for our past and clarity for our future.
At every crossroads in life, we have the potential to move closer and closer to the person we want to be and the life we want to live.
Trusting in your inner wisdom and in the guidance of the universe, can allow you to find the flow of life that makes that journey so much easier to travel.
Begin your journey today!
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