by Nanci Bradley

Nanci, I can’t relate, I have way too much to do

Now, I know that most people aren’t in the phase of life where ‘having too little to do’ is something they struggle with. More often than not, it is the other way around!

But in either of these cases, there is an altogether different struggle occurring underneath – the over identification with your skills, with what you can do and offer the world. The process of basing your sense of worth and value on what you can do, and therefore forcing yourself into spaces that may not truly feel right to you, in an effort to prove something to yourself and to the world.

Have you ever gone out even when you were completely drained, just to avoid disappointing your friends?

Have you ever taken on extra work just to prove you deserved your job or belonged on the team?

Have you ever said ‘yes’ to something you didn’t have the capacity for, just to avoid seeming difficult or unreliable?

Most people are guilty of at least one of these, if not all of them.

Now in my case, of actually having too little to do, I was focusing so much on one skill set, on trying to prove my worth in one area, that I left no space for enjoyment, fun or other passions.

When we box ourselves in, creating this identity based on our life in its current form – our job, friends, family, and roles – we can lose the ability to flow into new arenas, perhaps one’s that are better suited to us then anything we are doing currently.

We become stuck in a life that doesn’t really suit us, draining our energy and not giving enough back.