How we Limit Ourselves
by Nanci Bradley
Everyone limits themselves in one way or another, intentionally or unintentionally. Some of these limits are positive: defining the actions we are willing to take, creating limits in the form of a regular routine, and deciding the boundaries of healthy behaviour for ourselves.
These can create the foundation we need for a healthy life: the food we eat, the boundaries we set in our relationships, the ways we become more productive. Perhaps the limits you create stop you from jumping into relationships that are not for your highest good, or create a strict routine that allows you to be more organised and productive at work.
However, we can also create limits that hold us back from our potential, from being our most authentic self, from actioning the things that we desire to do.
These could be:
- I can only be successful when I am … years old
- I am too old to change my career
- I am unworthy of a positive, healthy relationship
- I can’t access my intuition or clairvoyance
These are most often subconscious, maybe you are even striving for something that is in direct opposition to one of your limiting beliefs. But sometimes a voice in the back of your mind says ‘you can’t really do that’, because your limiting belief contradicts your goals and desires.
My Recent Revelation
Over the years I have uncovered many limiting beliefs that were holding me back, including some of those I mentioned above.
My most recent realisation occurred in a Kinesiology session, where I was the client. In this session, I realised that I believed that I was a boring person.
And as a result of that belief, that I was subconsciously trying to maintain, I couldn’t do anything consistently that might contradict that belief. So rather than doing different things and behaving in a way that made my life interesting, in the way that I define interesting as opposed to a societal or cultural definition, I had to maintain many behaviours that I found more ‘boring’.
Consciously, I had noticed that I struggled to build a habit of doing things that I found fun and enjoyable, whether this was going to the beach or reading in the park or learning new skills outside of my career. And it was in this session that I understood that these habits were hard to create, because although I consciously wanted to have fun and enjoy my life, underneath that was the belief that I was boring. This belief system that could not be maintained if I started to have a fun, interesting life and therefore became a more interesting person.
How I am Rewriting this Belief
The Kinesiology session allowed me to start making big strides towards actually creating the life that I have been wanting, especially in my personal life and free time, whereas before I had always felt this internal block or resistance to doing these things.
Since then, I have also been consciously rewriting this, reminding myself that I can be interesting, that everyone is interesting in their own way, and that I can do things that give me this fun, enjoyable lifestyle that I am searching for.
Some of the actions I have taken, outside of the mental realm include:
- Going for a swim at the beach when I was craving it – even though I didn’t have much time and it probably wasn’t very practical
- Randomly stopping at a park on my day off, even though I hadn’t planned it – reading in the sunshine and simply enjoying the flowers, tree and animals
- Walking home in the rain and actually enjoying myself, rather than feeling wet and miserable and whining in my head about being forced to walk home in the rain. Instead, I consciously paid close attention that the sound of rain hitting the leaves and pavement, the wind rustling through the trees, the beautiful cloudy sky
An Activity
I would like to invite you to identify one of your own limiting beliefs, bringing it into consciousness so that you can begin to place attention and effort into ways that you can rewrite it.
Sit in a quiet space, with no distractions, and just think about your life lately. Has there been any area where you have felt resistance? Maybe it is in career, relationships, spirituality. It could be something big or something small.
When you have identified the area where inner resistance is present, write down a few options of limiting beliefs that may be holding you back. Write these down as positive beliefs, that you may be lacking or contradicting, to see and sense which makes you feel the most tension when you read it or speak it.
You may not find it on the first go, just keep writing until you find one or more that feels right to you.
An example may be, you have been wanting to book a holiday recently, but whenever you think about it you feel tension within and push it aside for later. You may be watching travel videos or dreaming about locations you could go, but you just can’t seem to actually book it.
You may start by writing down:
- I am allowed to relax
But when you think about this further, you do allow yourself to relax at home, spending time doing hobbies you enjoy and building your energy. Next you try:
- I am able to do things alone
This one definitely has potential, but it is something you have been working on for a while. Maybe there is some level of resistance to such a big activity done alone, but you have been practicing going out by yourself and it doesn’t feel too uncomfortable to do that in a foreign country. On one level you are even excited! Finally you write down:
- I am allowed to spend large sums of money on myself
When you even think about the money you will be spending, that tightness and tension comes right back into your body. You’ve found it!
The next step will be creating a plan of what to do to begin rewriting it. You may need to discover the emotion underneath the belief, this could be anything from unworthiness, low self esteem, anxiety, etc. I invite you to write a few statements that you want to begin believing instead, for example:
- I am worthy of spending money on
- I have an abundance of money that I can spend on myself
- My own needs and desires are important
Finally, begin thinking of actions you could take to begin contradicting the belief, these may feel very uncomfortable to do at first. But as you practice and improve, it will usually become easier and easier.
If you find yourself with any deep-seated beliefs that you feel you need support to rewrite, please seek out help from either a professional or from a trusted member of your personal support network.
Conclusion
Our beliefs can have such a big impact on the actions we take and the life we create for ourselves. I invite you to take the time to really examine what you believe about yourself and your life, the limits that you have created. Which ones are benefiting you and which ones are ready to be rewritten.
Begin your journey today!
Send me a message, I would love to hear from you.
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